Stranger Danger!

I was surfing the news yesterday..

Teen arrested for raping 5 yr old in Mcdonald's play area..
Father sentenced for injury to 8 week old baby..
Mother sentenced to 3 yrs in death of her 10 month old child...
Bergen county on alert for attempted abduction of middle schooler..

And I am taken aback by these news...sometimes we forget that there are really sickos out there, that sometimes we are so engrossed with out daily lives and basking in that false sense of security that we started to relax and it takes something like this for our "survival" and our "lioness nature" to come screeching and clawing to the forefront. But, what can we do? what can we do as parents? Will this justify wrapping our kids in bubble wrap and hiding them in a fireproof, tamper proof safe? I guess not, unless you want department of child services knocking on your door. What it all boils down to, is being vigilant. Not the paranoid-I-am-holding-a-shotgun-everytime-I-open-the door kind of vigilance. But rather, being aware of what is happening around you, especially when out with your kids. I always tell my husband,it only takes a minute, or a small window of opportunity and that flash of neglect, may result to a lifetime of regrets.

Just a few nuggets I collected..
1. Start talking to your child about their body, what is inappropriate touching, and
if he/she feels uncomfortable, tell your child to go to a trusted adult
2. Start training your child how to react to certain situations, run down scenarios
and what they should do. Examples are screaming for help and screaming that the
person trying to drag them away is not their father or mother
3. Make sure they memorize an emergency contact number and 911. We've heard of
stories of lives being saved coz a toddler knew how to diall 911
4. Never talk to strangers, never approach vehicles, a lot of perpertrators use
strategies like asking for directions, having puppies or pets, offering candy or
food
5. Teach your children not to open the door when somebody knocks or rings the
doorbell. Always remind them not to open the door without an adult present
6. When you are out and about with your kids,I know the sales tag on that dress says
70% off, but hey remember your little one running around? Maybe common sense,
keep an eye on your kid, but common sense in not that common after all.
7. Usually the school districts disseminates information with regards to persons of
interests or attempted abductions. Just the other day, a middle schooler from
Bergen county NJ was solicited on her way home from school, she was offered a
$1000 to get in the back of the SUV. Pay attention or school flyers or email
alerts, you never know it might save your child someday.

Children are precious, yeah they can be tiring and you get that day when you look at the mayhem and wished that you had tied your tubes. But still they are ours to protect and make their childhood last a little bit longer, before they grow up and the big bad world takes over. Be safe, be aware, be a fighter and not a victim

New Year, New PLace

It's already February 2010. Time goes by so fast, I wonder where January went? Did'nt have time to blog...so much has happened the last blog entry 12/11/09 that it feels like several lifetimes and I'm afraid to that when I look in the mirror I'm gonna see an old hag with white hair and whiskers on the chin. We sold our condo.(Yipeee!) found an apartment in 1 week, arranged moving, changing address and taking care of utilities, up to now, we still have several boxes stacked in the bedroom.I miss our condo. The nice, big kitchen with endless countertops, the bright and spacious living room. Cavernous closets. It's like downsizing but with 2 kids. I had made several trips to goodwill and St Barnabas already to drop off donations and toys. I cannot believe how much crap a family can accumulate in a few years. And the toys...oh my jumping crackers and salt...the toys! big and small, little parts of bigger toys. I used to take for granted the toys we have since we had a bigger space before, it was all spread out, but now in a smaller apartment, it is like the toys are taking over. It was just too much that I packed several boxes and put some away. I wish I could send it all to the Philippines, but the shipping cost will be worth more than the toys are worth. And besides some of the toys are missing a little -sumthing-sumthing so I can't really sell it on ebay. My daughter and I went through her stash, for each toy she wants to keep, she has to pick one to give away. Hopefully it teaches her about charity and to appreciate what she have. And with the toys she has chosen, I put away half so when she gets tired of the toys I put it, all I have to do is get some out of storage and it feels like a brand new toy. since goodwill will not accept children's toys anymore, I post a lot on stuff on freecycle. Another man's trash or rather woman's trash is another family's treasure. Besides, it feels better knowing that a well loved toy is going to someone who will also treasure it. Keeps it out of landfills and makes another child happy. Winner on both sides I say.

You definitely know...

1. It's time to lose weight when your mom looks like a teenager beside you, wears your pre-pegnancy pants and look good in it

2. It's time to start buying Mario B, skin care products even if it costs an arm and a leg..actually more like 2 arms and 2 legs..when they card you...for your senior citizen card and AARP card.

3. It's time to schedule botox and whatever dermatologic invention when they ask you if your mom is your daughter.

4. ..Or when they ask you if your husband is your son.

5. It's time to stop eating your kids leftovers when they start charging you 2 seats on the bus..or the train..or the airplane.

6. It's time to log in some vacation time, when all you can think about when you see your kids having their usual morning emotional breakdown...is that you could go back in time and have those damn tubes tied.

7. It's time to cut down on the shopping, when you can only afford Ramen noodles. For breakfast, lunch and dinner. Including midnight snacks.

8. It's time to sleep when you are sleepy. DUH

California Road trip..from San Francisco to Las Vegas

We left murky,damp and gloomy New York and landed in sunny California! Although I would not advise travelling with small children for health and mental reasons...we had no choice, unless we can check-in the little critters in a "kid hotel" like they do for pets for 1 week. We had 2 checked in bags and most of it was for the baby. The bottles, milk formulas, bottle sterilizer, little odds and ends, two strollers, two car seats...like I said, after this I need a vacation. Doing NOTHING. Some travellers don't care for young kids, they act like they were never little brats or maybe their parents never travelled with them. It's fun. Like the kind of fun you have in hell. We flew Delta. Cheap snacks, all of us squished like sardines in a can. In real estate lingo...quite cozy. My 3 year old twitching and bouncing around like she had coffee, steroids and candy...all at the same time. Finally she wound down and dropped to sleep, 30 min within landing!

Going through security was also another nightmare worth blogging about. I had to strip the children's shoes, coats, jackets, fold the strollers and the car seats on top of removing my own stuff and putting them in gray boxes. Going through security by yourself is already torture, but going through it with two babies in tow is beyond beyond beyond my imagined idea of hell. The worst thing is..when you get on the plane, it doesn't end there, it is just the start of a 6++ hour torture. I need a drink. But I can't. Need to be sober. Kinda jealous of my neighbors in the plane with earphones and drowning out the baby screams.

Keeping healthy this Flu season

It's kinda scary. You turn on the TV, and everything is about pain, death and the downward spiral of the economy. Sometimes I just have to steel myself, because as a mother, one should be informed of current events. Knowledge is power, information is key! As a mother, one should know what is happening around her, and not just who is dating who in Hollywood all the better to make informed decisions.

I have a lot of friends on facebook posting their dilemnas on the swine flu vaccine. To get? or not to get? (the vaccine)..that is the million dollar question. I try not to impose my will on anyone. But if someone asks, I will try to give my opinion, not just as a pediatric nurse, but also as a concerned and INFORMED mom. Like I said, information is key. ANd mind you, not just any information, the world wide web is a treasure chest of info, but there are also a bunch of sewage floating around. One has to dig and sort through the junk and get the golden nuggets of useful information that is reliable, proven and not hearsay or gossip.

So will I advise to vaccinate a child who is in the high risk group to get it? Yes. Even if the child is not high risk and the pediatrician offers it, I will still advise it. At this point in time, the pros outweigh the cons. I work in an area that exposes me to viruses most of the time. I don't want to bring it home. If 3 yrs from now, my family will turn into one of those characters from the movie "I am Legend", well...at least we didn't get the swine flu. Looking at the bright side, I probably won't care at that point in time. Some would counter that the government is encouraging it coz it's a conspiracy. Oh puleeze. Believe what you want. But I have seen really really sick kids, and it's not a picnic either.

Although I would have to post a disclaimer. I don't work for a pharmaceutical company, there ARE side effects of the vaccine. Getting the vaccine DOES NOT GUARANTEE that you will not get sick with flu since there are a lot of strains out there floating around and those little buggers are just eagerly awaiting being introduced to your nasal passages and mouth. But it would definitely decrease one's chances of being debilitatingly sick and passing it on to more vulnerable targets like pregnant women, children and those with underlying medical condition. I just heard the news. Another 19 children dead from the swine flu. Enough said. Go watch the news then

All Hallow's Eve

It's Halloween again, it's like Christmas for the kids and adults alike. I was the chaperon to several pre-teens and of course my own KK who is dressed up this year as Dora. She was insisting on dressing up as a princess, but I'm like NO NO NO! You will get more candy if you dress up as Dora! So I searched and got a Boots costume for the little sibling. I overestimated her growth rate so the costume was a little bigger..even after 2 months. I ordered the costume 2 months ago. That's how excited mommy was about this one night.

In the Philippines, I remember we did not celebrate the 31st of October, we stayed in the house and did not go out..at all. My mom would scare me with stories of the dead roaming and spirits a-haunting. And it was a solemn occasion for most. We visit our dead relatives, offer prayers and masses. The one time of the year that we come back, clean up the weeds from the headstones and whitewash tombs. Some enterprising kids make money by collecting the candle wax from the forgotten candles left by the well-meaning relatives, they sell it per kilo.

Over the years, it has evolved into a much festive holiday. The cemeteries are packed with people, visitors and hawkers. With radios blaring and tents set up, most had food and it's like one big party.

Initially when we first came to America, we did not participate in these activities but when the kids came, it is more for their benefit rather than us. So we walked..and walked...and walked. Knocked on houses, got treats and continued on. It is really heartening to see, despite all the turmoil in our country, that people do take time to participate in this occasion. It is not just the candy that they get, but most of the house owners wait outside and individually hands out the treats. They get enjoyment from seeing little kids and adults alike dressed in whatever their imaginations can conjure and like I said, for a few hours, forget about the depressing economy.

We walked for over 2 hours, and it was a workout. I was wearing a light vest over a long sleeved shirt and my shirt was soaked. I was carrying an Ikea recyclable bag where my little Dora dumps her haul when her pumpkin gets too heavy to carry. And we had to cut out our foraging coz it started to rain..HARD. It sucks. But maybe deep inside I was thankful..I was tired and hungry and how much freaking candy can one eat? I grabbed Dora and ran for home. We got home, I ate a big plate of spaghetti, five pieces of garlic bread, and of course my lions share of the candy. So much for the calories I burned in the last two hours. I got it all back..with interest. Calories came back like a money lenders high interest rates.

We sorted the stash, I weeded away the small hard candies that can cause choking, took out the bubble gums and kept all the chocolate bars. After that it was trading time! All the cousins and aunts started trading and bartering for their least liked and favorite treats.

All in all, the next day, my daughter already forgot about her hoard, but I try to emphasize to her while we were trick or treating, to appreciate whatever someone gives. Small candy or big choco bar, the act of giving should be enough. Also always remind her to say "thank you" and of course sharing. There are values to be learned even during Halloween. It is not just horror movies and partying.

The holiday is over, costumes in the dirty laundry bin, pictures taken and posted and the candies hidden away, and parents all over the country heave a sigh of relief that their children came home safely, maybe a little sick from eating too much candy, but safe nonetheless. And me, getting that much needed sleep, coz I'm exhausted after that chaperoning bit. Now all that is over..time to plan for Christmas. I just love being a mom

Everybody is panicking, stores are running out of alcohol-based hand cleansers and bleach. I even saw on the news that somewhere in Maryland, thousands line up for the "swine flu" vaccine. What could a mother do?

Take a deep breath, and try to relax. I know it's hard when it's your children's health and life at stake. But, there are solutions and ways to get around this. Remember, PREVENTION is key. Although it is not 100%, it is still best way to avoid getting sick this season.

It's very hard to prevent kids from getting sick. But it doesn't mean that you will freak out everytime another kid cough and sneezes in your child's face. Not only impossible but also not practical. Unless you put your children in a bubble for let's say, till they are teenagers? That is crazy.

What to do:

Don't panic. Prevention is key. If there are small children in the family, all caregivers should get vaccinated. Especially if caring for "at risk" population 0-5 yrs of age. Or for people with underlying risk factors like asthma, diabetes, cardiac problems (which pretty much like half of the population already). And for some reason the virus targets pregnant women. Just get the damn vaccine!

Handwashing is very important. The virus can live on surfaces and can be infectious from up to 8 hours after being deposited on the surface. So whip up the cleansers and just wipe down kitchen counters, bathroom surfaces and I do clean door knobs, light switches, phones and cellphones. These items are the most used in the house and are often overlooked. Throw used tissues in the trash can and either wash your hands with soap and water or use hand sanitizers.

This is the flu season. I am not telling you to hibernate or hide away from the world. But if it's not necessary? avoid crowded places. Try not to bring your kids to a crowded mall or gatherings. Once in a while, yeah but, if you are bored and maybe having cabin fever then short trips will be enough. Good for the pocketbook too. They have hand sanitizers that are small enough and would fit right in your Prada or Coach bag. You don't have to be slouchy just because it's the flu season :P

If somebody does get sick. Just stay at home. Never mind the deadlines and whatever that needs to be done at the office. I am pretty sure the world will not end if you rest for a few days. Believe me, your co-workers will thank you for it. Spread the love..not the virus.

Avoid touching your nose, eyes and mouth. The virus is spread that way. WASH your hands I could never emphasize it enough.

If your kid does get sick, observe and give comfort and call your health provider. It may not be swine flu but regular old fashioned flu. As a mother, sometimes we dither whether to call or not to call. But trust your instincts, if you feel that something doesn't feel right? or the child looks worse to you? just follow it. Even if the doctor thinks you're crazy for calling in the middle of the night..hey that's what they are being paid for right? besides, I would rather be wrong and look crazy than have my child take a turn for the worse because I was afraid that the doc would think I am too paranoid. I'm a mother. I am supposed to be paranoid. I did not suffer and carry this child for nine months just to be pooh poohed by some doctor.

For more information click on the link. This will take you to the CDC website.
www.cdc.gov/H1N1flu/qa.htm

Better to be safe. Be informed. Call your health provider. Take all of this with a grain of salt. This is not meant to be a bible for swine flu prevention. But just a reminder. GET THAT FLU SHOT!!!!!!!!!!

Playing NOT too softly on my guitar

I was able to find an article on the web about our former band "Furies" which was formed way back when.. I lifted the address and hope Rakrakan magazine won't mind :)



Wish I had the pics to go with it...

I looked so young and innocent then...


www.rakrakan.com/2005/10/03/furies/

Playing softly on my guitar

I picked up my guitar today after a long hiatus. I got inspired to start playing again. Probably all those you tube videos I watch..where everyone is covering someone else's song.

I got the guitar as a gift from my husband 2 years ago. Both are birthdays are in December and just 2 days apart. So suddenly he said, he wanted to buy me a guitar as a birthday gift. I was initially surprised and thrilled at the same time. I left my electric guitar, and bass in the Philippines coz it won't fit in my overweight baggage 1 piece. And I didn't really think about music at that time. So when he said he wanted to get it for me..I was excited.

We went to a guitar store in Milford and oohhhlala the choices are endless. This was a different buying experience than going to 'Raon. So I settled on a shining chestnut beauty and was looking forward to playing..and playing...

It seems that I really didn't have time to play. With everything else going on I probably picked up the guitar once a week. And besides, guess who is taking up my guitar time? My hubby. He was constantly playing on MY guitar every night to the point that it drove me nuts. I finally discovered who the guitar was really for, it was for him. And I was just the excuse. Oh brother.

So going back, I started playing a few tunes, little rusty, a little stiff, and all my calluses were gone so I had throbbing fingertips. Just belted out tune after tune, remembering my band days. Late nights at Club Dredd, Mayrics and all those small anonymous bars that frequented and played at. I think we played at every party that was ever had. Small birthday parties, big outlandish debuts as long as there was space to set up amps and the drums, we were there.

Looking back, I still cannot believe I had the nerve to get up on stage and rock out. Headbanging and belting our original songs to a crowd that would be inconsistent...loving one moment and uninterested the next. So many experiences like having crowd dissolve in a mosh pit while we're playing, or the crowds initially cheering coz when five women walk on stage, they think we are cute or we are gonna play cute songs, just because we are women. But as soon as Aleth's drums start banging, my bass riff ripple through the crowd, Nadine's guitar solo screams out and Lovella's vocals demand to be heard, all in one cohesive moment Alda's melody on the keyboards brings it all in..yeah we rock!

So, today, I picked up the guitar again after sooooo long. I guess I got inspired by a friend of mine who is an accomplished piano player. He has been playing since he was 5 yrs old. I guess you would call him a protegee, graduate of Julliard. And he is doing what he loves. I am no child protegee. I didn't get formal training in piano, or guitar or bass or drums. I do it all by ear. But bottom line, it really doesn't matter. Coz music transcends that. It transcends age, time, and sometimes life. Life often times gets in the way of music and especially when one can barely find the time to get 4 hours of sleep in 24 hours of the day. But I just realized that it kinda soothes my soul. And quiets the beast inside. Music does tame the beast.

So I spend a few minutes strumming my guitar, a little rusty..but who cares? I don't.

What could have been

Do you ever play that game in your head, sometimes you think about what could have been?

I see my life as a line branching in many directions, something like if you watch a lot of sci-fi shows, or even twilight zone, sometimes I feel or think about my self "self", living my other lives if I had made a different choice. It's like whenever I am at an important crossroad in my life, another self separates and lives the life or with the choice that I have not chosen. I visualize myself spread out and separated into millions of "me" living out the lives that I have not chosen.

I actually remember one article by Jessica Zafra, she is one of my favorite authors, biting wit and her style of writing is outrageously funny almost to the point of being offensive but just a shade below it. I appreciate her nasty humor coz she calls a spade a spade, and man..she makes it very funny. Back to the article, she mentioned something about time-space continuum and living our lives differently at the same time..like a parallel universe. Guy meets girl, they date, guy dumps girl end of story. But in a parallel universe, guy meets girl, they date then guy proposes to girl, get married and have kids. So on and so forth. Every major decision in the guys life, creates a tangent life of what ifs...

I am not the type of person to regret decisions. I think it over, I may spend a lot of think brooding and thinking and basically asking for advice and every one's opinion, but after I decide. That is that. I never look back and I never regret. Feeling that it is a waste of time and emotion. But a lot has happened in the last 5 years that I feel like everything is happening so quickly that I barely have time to lift my head, look around and take stock of what is happening in my life.

Maybe instead of regrets, maybe it's time to contemplate on what direction should I be heading. It's kinda hard to do that since I am a mother now. I am responsible for raising my kids to be happy and well rounded and able to contribute to humanity. Tall order. It's hard to be selfish and put oneself first. Often I see moms letting themselves "go". They start to dress in jogging suits, comfortable but not fashionable clothes,have less time to put on makeup and basically take care of themselves. It's kinda hard to squeeze in ME time in between driving kids to soccer practice and ballet, cleaning house, making meals and trying to be a good wife and mother.

Sometimes it's ok to be selfish. Take time to go to the gym, or have a ladies night out a few times. Go shopping for your own wardrobe and actually avoid going into Children's Place or the kiddie section.

Mommies need their breaks. One must find a way to find happiness that is hers, and hers alone. Coz let's face it, when mommy has a nervous breakdown...not good for the kids. When mommy has had it up to her ears with stress and demands on her time..and starts swinging the knife and hears God talking to her about dumping her kids in the lake...well you get the picture.

Somewhere out there, in a parallel universe, I probably don't have kids, or I'm a famous newscaster or covering breaking news as a news reporter, or dead. I swear I did a lot of dumb things in my life that could have gotten me killed. And I look at this life, I look at my family, my career, my friends...then maybe, just maybe, somewhere along the way, I did make the right choices.

Suggested Books

Some books that I love and authors I follow..

Dresden Files By Jim Butcher
Codex Alera series also by Jim Butcher
The Vampire's Assistant (Cirque de Freak Series) Darren Shan
Maximum Ride series bTwilight series
Vampire diaries
The Looking glass wars by James Patterson

My daughter Mikayla loves these books..for toddlers and pre-schoolers..

The Bear snores on by Karma Wilson
If you give a pig a pancake by Laura Numeroff
If you give a pig a party
If you give a mouse a cookie..all by Laura Numeroff
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

Me the Bookworm

I read a LOT of books. When I say a lot, I probably read 3-4 books a week. And if I have the time, I would actually prefer to read rather than sleep, which is good for the body but I feel so good just being able to read. I went through most of the books in the adult section and now I am a lurker in the young adult section. You wouldn't believe the range of topics and stories one can find in the yound adult section. Initially I couldn't believe it myself but sometimes the descriptions are sooooo gory that I have to look at the cover twice and remind myself that it came from the "young" set and is meant for the teen population.

I love our library, we usually go to the Norwalk Public library on Motts St. and for me it's a goldmine of information. They have DVD's, VHS for adults and kids alike, new movies, documentary or fiction. Name it, they have it. And ooohhlala..the books, I am in heaven! They have new books, bestsellers, kids books and even parenting magazines. Some of you may hohum..about me going on and on about A LIBRARY. Coming from the Philippines, our libraries are not this well funded and not well supported. So I walk into this one, and again I say I am in heaven.

Give me a book anytime, I can read 1 book in one sitting. I will read it all! But right now I am interested in fantasy and the scary stuff. Thanks to the Twilight series, the vampires are very popular right now. I have read the Vampire Diaries before it was converted to the tv series as we know of now. Another movie is coming out "The Vampire Assistant" Cirque de Freak series by Darren Shan. I am pretty curious how they are gonna go about with the movie, if they are gonna tone it down, coz from what I remember, there are like 10++ books in that series. And like I mentioned before, when you start reading it, you kinda think twice if it's really for teens. Gory, violent and kinda scary if you kinda contemplate that this is supposed to be a kid book.

How did I get started with my love for reading? All I remember was during my childhood, I spent it growing up with my grandparents. We didn't have cable TV back then, so after sesame street in the afternoon there was nothing to watch. I read whatever is on hand, most of the time my aunts books, love stories with lots of torrid kissing and groping, which at that very young age, I never fully understood. I discovered my grade school library and it was like a door opening to wonders. I started borrowing one book at a time, Bobsey twins..then I graduated to Nancy Drew..then Hardy boys. I pretty much read whatever I could get my hands on. Now I have the Norwalk Library.

How do I get my child to love reading and learning. We read 3-5 books before nap time everyday, and 1-2 books at night. I take her to the library and let her choose her books. And I think I did a good job coz Mikayla gets excited going to the library. And she loves books, she reads to her baby sister. Well, not really read but she makes up stories and pretends to read from the book. She already knows her alphabet when she was 18 mos old and her numbers also at that age. I am not really rushing her with learning to read coz, I feel that she will learn when she is ready..

Oh well...I love the Library! Go support the library and start reading :)

 

LBC will ship Balikbayan boxes for free for Ondoy relief goods

I was browsing LBC website today trying to find out how much to send a box and came across their way of helping out Ondoy victims. Anybody can drop off their balikabayan boxes in ANY LBC office. For the tri-state area box size should be 28x18x17 only. And they will not accept used clothes, that's the only catch. Here is the list of things that are needed and can be shipped for free. The box should contain the name and address of the sender.
canned goods
rice (bigas)
new clothing
towels
blankets
cookware
utensils
toiletries (soap,toothpaste, toothbrush, detergent)
antidiarrheals
tylenol and motrin for adults and kids
water purification tables
oresol
maybe some kids coloring books and new toys
childrens clothes

They will send the boxes to the LBC foundation and they will be responsible in distributing the relief goods to the charities. One receipient is the ABS CBN foundation. Remember, shipping is free all you need to do is pack it in the box and drop it off at the center.

Here is a list of drop off centers in the NJ area. Unfortunately, there is none in Connecticut but my hubby works in NJ and is willing to drop off your boxes.

LBC
480 West side Ave.
Jersey City, NJ 07304
#201-4348454

LBC
601 Penhorn Ave. unit 4
Secaucus NJ 07094
tel # 20108678889

LBC
69 1/2 Belleville Ave.
Bloomfield NJ 07003
tel # 9737487998

LBC
384 South Washington Ave.
Bergenfield, NJ 07621
tel # 2015018928

If you have any questions just call the office or go to LBC.com

Toddler survival tips

I have never been a woman of patience. I will be the first to blow up, the first to walk out and the first to start screaming...in any order. So I think having a very intelligent and very talkative toddler is the universe's way of getting back at me. Kaykay as she is fondly called is a teenager in a small toddler body. It's her way..or the highway. From the moment she wakes up, to what she will wear to school, to what is in her lunchbox and what song is playing on the radio. I have devised ways to cope with this madness coz it's either this...or I start chomping down on little arms and legs..
1. When dressing them in the morning, only give 2 choices... they want to be independent at this age, and I can be ashamed to admit it but yes it's kinda suckering her into thinking that yeah..she's the boss...not hehe. So it's either the shirt that I really want her to wear, or something that she will never wear. And she always makes the right choice. I mean it's a pink shirt!
2.There are moments that we encounter what we call "temper tantrums" actually it sounds more like a Mt Vesuvius erupting and earthquake scale on a 9. And don't you notice that these breakdowns usually occur in the most inconvenient of places..like hmmm the middle of the supermarket. And all because you won't buy her the tummy gummy whatchamathingy which wrecks havoc on teeth, after all, you just want the little buggers teeth so survive till adulthood and not have to hock the house and car to pay for dental work. Anyway, these eruptions can be avoided most of the time...ummm half of the time..ok sometimes. All that is needed is a little prepwork. Schedule the errand when the child is not hungry, not sleepy and basically in a good mood. (I told you rarely right) Before you leave the house, tell her what is expected. From the moment she gets out of the car, to what kind of cart she can push and what you expect her to do. Also explain consequences, you hear a peep from her, don't be afraid to drop it and go home. It maybe inconvenient but she will learn.
3. Hold your ground. If it is something that you really want to teach her, like no putting plastic bags over her hear or her baby sister's head, you have to be stern and firm. Just like tofu. There maybe times that you can let her get away with little things, but when it comes to safety. NO compromise. Hold hands while crossing the street. Look both ways when crossing the street. No chewing on the electrical cords. ANd No picking up the baby and trying to give her a bath in the toilet bowl!
4. Let's face it, being a parent is very hard, most of the times we feel like we don't know what we are doing, seeing our baby cry makes us want to cry too. But you just have to harden your heart a little, coz if we will not set the limit..no one will. It's actually easier to let them do whatever they want and give them whatever they desire, but when they are all grown up and are on reality tv blaming their parents for not disciplining them, self-explanatory.
5. You are a parent, you are not a friend, you are not their peer. A lot of parents lose track of this sometimes trying to be cool and allowing their kids to do the hell the want. Whenever my mom or grandmother scold me and they go like "Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik nako". (Your journey just started and Im already returning from the journey". I never quite understood where they are coming from. But now as a mother of two and 30+ years of experience under my belt, I can definitely comprehend what they were telling me. As I just roll my eyes when my 3 yr old tries to pull off something that will definitely earn a scolding.
6. And lastly, enjoy this time, coz it really goes very fast. Last time I looked my Kaykay was just a giggling baby with chubby cheeks and chubby legs. Now she likes to wear dresses, she loves dancing and swimming and painting her toenails. I dread her being a teenager, fending off boyfriends and I am mentally and emotionally preparing myself for what lies ahead. Although I cannot protect her from all the hurts and disappointment she is gonna encounter, I can only hope and pray that whatever values and teachings I instilled in her, it will be enough. That I would be enough. Even when Kaykay is grown with kids and going through the same things I went through, in my eyes she will always be a baby, my baby.

Boston team tournament 2009

I was looking forward to the tournament in Boston last weekend for several reasons. One, it will be a mini vacation since I gave birth 6 months ago, and secondly, I will be doing something I love..play badminton. It's crazy that I am sooooo crazy with this sport. I will sacrifice life and limb...well..maybe not life, but I will tolerate pain, just to be able to play. I wrote before that I have pain-free knee envy. I am jealous of my co-players bouncing, jumping and doing lunges without pain. For me, especially in certain weather I feel like an old lady, pain in both knees climbing up and down the stairs, even slow jogs makes me a little teary.

The explanation for all this is not early onset arthritis. I went to a orthopedic/sports medicine specialist after my knee swelled up like a grapefruit, and my problems are still rooted from my ACL surgery 2 yrs ago. It seems that my hamstring and thigh muscles are still weak, and its those muscles that kinda keeps the kneecap moving smoothly in its place. My post acl reconstructive surgery PT was ok in the sense that I was able to get 100% of my range of motion back, I had to request additional PT sessions coz my left leg was so weak, and if you compare my leg side by side, it doesn't look like it's from the same person. Left leg looks like a chicken leg and the right looks like a sumo wrestler's leg since it was compensating all those times. So I went for the next batch of PT and I felt that it was working. Then I got pregnant, I was spotting and bleeding the first few weeks so I had to decide to stop the treatments. I got fat, I gave birth and here I am again trying to play the sport that I love so much. Now I truly believe that love is PAIN. AFter I started playing I started having problems with the right kneecap, then the left kneecap until the time it swelled up and I went to the specialist.

So coming to this tournament is very special for me. I would have a chance to play against players of different and most often than not higher level than me. And I did. Some of the games I felt like I was beating my head against a brick wall, and I never won any of my games. There must a world record out there that I can break right? NO win, flawless loser haha. Should I cry and tear my heart out? should I curse and break my racket while wailing and kneeling on the floor dramatically? I don't think so, although let me tell you, it's hard to put on a happy face and be optimistic when you don't win a match, your heart just feels like lead and most of the time feels like it's gonna crawl up my chest and choke me. But I still played. I played several games that I felt that I did pretty well, considering I was playing with kids half my age and have all their kneecaps and body functions, functioning well, and here I am 35 and still playing pretty competitively. I was the one walking around smelling like Bengay and chugging down Alleve pills before the games. I was joking that I have 2 lovers with me, Mr. Bengay and Mr. Alleve. I must have sounded like a drug pusher asking my teammates if they wanted painkillers, the non-narcotic kind.The had players from Canada, Olympians, from DC and several varsities of known universities like Cornell and MIT.

Looking at these people from all races and roots, all I can think of is, what is the underlying commonality among us..of course, the love of the sport. People who don't know of the sport, they imagine badminton as more of a backyard sport during lazy summer days barbecuing and hitting a few plastic birdies on the lawn. I think my surgeon swallowed a few snickers when he heard I injured myself playing badminton. But the truth is, it's a very fast game, the player should know how to move and from my experience very dangerous also. As a matter of fact, one lady from a mixed doubles game got hit squarely on the bridge of the nose by the birdie. My teammate smashed and it hit her right where the sensitive part of the nose is and would even make big boys wail for their mamas. A little off ways she could lose an eye and of course, I have seen that too, had to bring the guy to the emergency room since his eye was bleeding. If you are thinking that it's not supposed to hurt, let me tell you this, there is a hard cork holding those frail feathers together and if it's going @ 200mph, you either learn to duck or learn to better defend yourself. Coz when that shuttle hits you, it's gonna leave it's mark.

So why am I still happy. I lost all my games in this team tournament, we placed 7th out of 8 teams ,at least we beat out 1 team and my body is complaining loudly that I think my coach can hear me all the way from NY city. So again I ask myself the question, why am I still happy? Was it the excellent crabcakes and wine we had at Legal Seafood restaurant? Was it the company of people who share my love of the game? Was it the eat-all-you can sushi/sashimi and tempura? Maybe, that was a part of it. Good food, good beer, good company and good games. I am happy coz despite my age, despite my injuries, despite all my pain, I am still playing, and I am still planning on getting better, inspiring me to take more training and do better. I lost all my games, and it's a cliche,but in the end, it's kinda true. Winning isn't everything anyway :) Till the next Boston team tourny in '10 watch out kiddies.

Health is WEALTH

I do feel envy, not for money, or for love or for material things. I feel envious of my badminton friends playing without pain, I look at them and think, did I do something wrong in my past life to be burdened with pain? (Heaves a great sigh) I really don't have a right to whine, but I have a Japanese friend who has been playing for probably 30 yrs, older than Mohammad and still jumps, lunges and prances about like a 18 yr old on steroids. He is still fast, stamina like a stallion ehehe (Japanese Stallion) and eats rice like it's still the in thing since the low carb diet. Again, I don't have the right to complain, but after tearing my acl, mcl and all the l's (anterior cruciate ligament, medial and lat ligaments) in '07, my love-hate relationship with my knees started. It just felt like it was neverending, non stop doctor appointments, excruciating rehab post surgery. ANd believe me I have a very high threshold for pain, I was on plain tylenol post knee surgery, motrin after both baby deliveries and hmm let me see a sucker for pain and suffering especially after the 1st URban Jungle Adventure race which I was part of the 1st all girl team, we actually placed 3rd out of 20+ teams in a grueling 24 hour race around Metro Manila. Rockwell was the starting point and I will never look at Rockwell as just a MALL. Since we had to rappel down from the roof, traverse a rope a few hundred feet above and walked around it's periphery 10x tied to my team mates. While the beautiful people of Makati and yuppiedom watched and sniggered and wondered..what the hell we were doing. My team consisted of Janet Belarmino, Noelle Wenceslao and a girl who was part of the Philippine national team for kayaking. It was long, hard and brutal by the time we reached the finish line, my knees would not bend, the soles of my feet were unrecognizable because it was one big blister. To the point that my mom had to take me to the ER the next day since I could not walk my feet were swelling and Doc Dave Gamboa had to debride and tape up my poor feet. I can't even climb up the stairs. I CRAWLED up the stairs. Needless to say, I had a very high pain threshold... TO BE CONTINUED

wendy shawn wedding

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It's that time of Year...

Humming the old Nescafe commercial where this couple were cozying up to each other on front of a fire with cups of steaming instant coffee.."It's that time of year..lalalalala" etc. etc. and No I don't mean Christmas, although if it was up to my daughter, everyday will be Christmas and her birthday too. I mean the flu season. Just goes to show that time really passes so quickly, last time I had the flu shot, I was 5 mos pregnant and in a blink of an eye, I have a 6 month old daughter and it's time for the shots again. I am encouraging people to get their flu shots, especially this season the CDC is predicting to be worse than ever, with the swine flu virus adding to the mix. Some might not want it coz they swear it make them more prone to being sick, or they have experiences that after the shot they get sick.

FACT: There is more than 1 strain of flu, getting the flu shot doesn't mean you are not gonna be sick, but if you do get sick, this will be a milder version compared to getting the full blown flu.

FACT: children 6 months to 18 yrs old, caregivers of children, pregnant women, or would get pregnant this season..pls just get the freaking vaccine. Even if you think as a healthy adult you will survive the Flu, if you have little kids or babies, they are more susceptible and might not be able to fight off the infection. So for the sake of the little ones, even if you are afraid of the needle, It's just a little, teensy weensy needle! suck it up and get it! get it! get it!

Have seen too many children suffering getting transferrred to tertiary care because the parents don't want the vaccine. I can't stress it enough. Get it.

Here's link for all procrastinators and non-believers out there
http://www.cdc.gov/FLU/protect/keyfacts.htm
Don't wait till it's too late, coz there might be a shortage of vaccines this year, don't put it off to the point that it's like a refugee line. Walgreens offer the shots from am till around 4pm for $24.99

And remember folks, aside from getting the vaccine, keep in mind the usual ways of disease prevention, handwashing, using purell or alcohol gels, try to stay clear of crowds. And if the kids are sick with fevers and symptomatic, don't send them to school. Keep them home, so at least whatever they have won't get spread around.

Crunch Time!!

I got in touch with my lawyer (who's kinda cute in an old dignified kinda way) but not my type hehe (just in case my hubby is reading), and we went over the terms of the contract. I was a little dismayed and unsettled since the date they set when they finally get their mortgage and cannot backout is Oct. 15, and they want to close on the 30th..of OCTOBER. So let's see, that's freaking hello of a 2 weeks time for use to find an apartment, get the credit checks done and over with, sign the lease, start moving stuff and all the crap my family accumulated in 5++ years not to mention all my daughter's clothes, shoes and handbags that she purloined from her Ate Indy's closet (but that's another story). Change of addresses, calling all banks, companies with our change of locations. Hmm, what else, DMV, SS, HR, IRS, and all the alphabet soup companies that has been a part of our lives one way or the other. Call the electric company, cable, telephone co, rent the moving van, hire movers, start boxing boxes and packin' away! All in 2 weeks. I told my husband, you better take a vacation, coz NO WAY can I do this by myself. Just to give you an idea about how involved my hubby is in the planning, implementation and evaluation process. I talked to him on the phone..while driving (oops but I swear I had hands-free gadget thingamajig) and I was telling him what's gonna happen, how fast it's gonna be and what I need him to do.. there was a pause and he was quiet for a few seconds..finally he asked.."So where are we going?" I'm like, Lord Almighty! I thought we were on the same boat, prepping the condo, putting it up for sale, finally finding a buyer and then...surprise..where are we going???!!!! I honestly don't know. Trying to look into the Westchester area, definitely NJ is not an option since I love my job and the flexibility of the hours since I only work weekends, I can be with the children weekdays. And before anybody comments that I'm so lucky and I can't appreciate that. STOP. I do. I do appreciate working only weekends, caring for my kids instead of hiring a babysitter who would probably earn more than I do and that is basically the reason I cannot leave Connecticut. I appreciate this job so much I am willing to commute longer just to keep it. Trying to move into an area with a good school system, but Westchester is sooooooo expensive. Property taxes are like $20-30,000 a year. And that is just taxes. HUWHATTT? It's NY baby and everything skyrockets! I really love Norwalk, diverse, alive and besides that free entry to Calf Pasture beach, which is a pretty nice stretch of beach considering it's the long island sound. My house is a hop,skip and a jump away from Stop and shop, Shoprite, Walmart, Home depot and TJ maxx and still be peaceful enough that we are not on a busy street. I love it that there are a lot of businesses in Norwalk, several dance schools, museums, stepping stones museum so it's not a monopoly of anything. I'm gonna miss all my fast food restaurants that kept me alive all those years (KFC, Wendy's, Burger King and of course Mickee D's) all just around the corner. It might sound unhealthy coz there are really some people with kids who have never even stepped foot in a fast food resto, but rushing for night shift, no sleep after taking care of 2 kids, I just wanted something hot, fast and I dont have to park. Yay for drive-thru. Enough of my ode to Norwalk. time to move on, I think I'm gonna cry when I finally turn over the keys, it's just that this place was not just a condo, it was our home, and I hope the people who will live there after us will take care of it like we did. Time to move on and am really looking forward to a house with a backyard. I'm sad and sentimental..oohhh ikea catalog, I think this would look nice in my new house.....