I received a message from a classmate wayyyy back in highschool, actually elementary pa lang ata classmate ko na sya and since transferee ako from QC, I was only in Colegio de Sta CAtalina for 3rd grade then I went back to St. James. HS I returned to Sta Catalina where I graduated and went on with my nursing degree sa UP manila. She wrote me a very long letter hehe kakagulat pero it was funny and nice to hear from someone. She remembered little things about me and ang nakakatawa, I can't even remember it. Carol remembered me as tomboyish, makulit and madaldal and laging nakatayo sa upuan as a punishment for being talkative. Hehe, sabi nya start pa lang ng class madungis na ako kase takbo raw ako ng takbo. Come to think of it, wala namang nagbago hehe madaldal pa rin ako, lots of energy and although wala nang teacher na nagpapatayo sa chair, I still let my sense of humor surface despite the difficulties. Carol also went on about her life now and she shares the difficulties of being a full time mom. How trulili!!! Hirap kaya! I love to complain, but when you verbalize complaints, it just sounds whiny, but if you blog it..sosyal ang dating hehe. So here was my reply to her, just thought to post it kase initially it was just a reply to the message, but I found it funny :)

8/29/09
Hello Cayoy :)Wow gulat ako haba ng message mo hehe, I can totally relate kase most of the time when puro kids kasama mo almost 24-7 minsan naghahanap ka na talaga ng kausap na hindi bata :) And I find it funny kase ikaw naaalala mo pa yung elementary days hehe para mo nang sinabing meron akong ADHD haha sa totoo lang elementary days ko and actually pati HS passed by in a blur . Defend ko sarili ko tsaka daughter mo, ang mga smart daw na tao,talagang madaldal mula pagkabata kase sobrang bilis daw mag-isip and ang thought processes hehe kase nung time natin nun hindi uso ang diagnosis na ADHD. And frankly I don't approve of this diagnosis especially sa mga bata, sad pero it's really prevalent dito sa US na medyo active lang ang bata, dinadala na sa pediatrician and kung ano-anong medications na. Sa atin kase palo lang ng sinturon and katapat nyan :) And what can I say about having kids and being tomboyish? Even during that time hindi ko rin na envision sarili ko, having a family pero ika nga it just happens. To be honest, mas masaya sa pinas, mas relaxed and buhay especially if your earn enough and marunong kayong maghandle ng finances. When you mentioned about how you live within your means and your kids get a good education, it's not where they go to school but I think it's more important that the parents are there to supervise and follow up with assignments, awareness kung ano na nangyayari sa buhay ng mga anak mo. Oo nga nasa exclusive schools anak mo, pero both parents have to work to support the expense, pag uwi ng mga bata sa bahay, yaya lang ang andun, eh sino ba naman ang magmamalasakit sa mga anak mo...syempre magulang lang talaga. Di alam ng parents nag dru-drugs na pala yung anak nila..asus. Actually akala ng mga mister natin madali ang maybahay? sometimes when I complain to my hubby na pagod ako etc etc he would look at me like "Ano ginawa mo?" Malinis pa bahay diba? Meron pa syang briefs na naisusuot di ba? Buhay pa mga anak nya diba? Nakakakain ng maayos ang mga bata diba? Maayos ang schedule, extracurricular activites ng mga bata diba? Bayad lahat ng bills at hindi pa napuputulan ng kuryente, tubig, cable at telepono di ba? Ayos pa ang budget sa bahay at grocery diba? Meron nang nakahandang gifts para sa aatendang birthday party ng mga bata diba? etc etc etc and not to mention During the time we were breastfeeding, para tayong mga baka..taga-alaga ka na nga ng bata, daig mo pa Nestle sa production ng milk. Tiisin na lang ang nipples na dumudugo at parang equivalent ng circumcision sa guys. Buti nga sila once lang, tayo every 3-4 hours aruyyyyyy!!!! Mabuhay tayong mga INA! hehe ngayon ko lang napansin, mahaba na pala ito, pati ako natawa kayo post ko sa blog ko hehe wala lang :)

Selling in a Buyer's Market II

Just got of the phone with my realtor, Tom, and it's only 8am but I am physically and emotionally drained. If I had known how hard it is to sell, grrrrrrrr.....I would have thought ahead with my purchase in terms of resell. But like I said, I fell in love with my condo, it had me at hello...hello..hello. With house buying sometimes it's not just the layout or even the wall color, it's the feeling you get the moment you walk in the door, enough to ignore the 70's grandma decor and the G0d-awful eye crossing wallpaper or even the pet smells. Like my title above, it is a buyer's market.I am selling my place at a loss. But I told my realtor I am drawing my line at this certain amount, although I did receive an offer less than $500 of my bottomline, and my bottomline is waaaayyyyy bottom already. So I have to be logical right? it's just $500, but thinking of the amount of money we put in this place, not only that but our sweat equity, ika nga "Bathroom reno...$2500, Wood floors..$2500 SWEAT EQUITY..Priceless. So basically if we factor that in the selling price we should put up our listing price +++$100000 but that is the emotional side speaking..rather it is screaming. So we did the comps and real estate "research" and that's how we ended up with this number. We did the counteroffer and it seems like everything is gonna go well, keeping all my toes and fingers crossed.

Advice for all house sellers:
1. When you buy, think about the resell. it may be 10-15 yrs from now, but always keep in mind
that nothing is permanent. But if that highway beside the house is a problem now, it will still
be a problem 10 yrs from now.
2. De-clutter! De-clutter! De-clutter! enough said
3. Store excess furniture to make the place seem larger
4. Make sure everything is spotless clean. Windows, surfaces, no dirty dishes in the sinks, no
hairs in the tub drain or bathroom floor
5. If you have kids, tell your realtor to put a note of 24 hr notice. Believe me, it is not funny when
people are coming in 30 minutes and you are up to your neck in dirty diapers and the floors
are smeared with baby food.
6. If you have a lot of close friends..(very close) or relatives make arrangements in advance for
your brood to stay in their house while it's showing, let me tell you it beats being trapped in
the car with a screaming infant and toddler in the parking lot
7. Get a realtor that you trust, someone who knows the area, has a lot of experience under their
belt. A good working relationship is ESSENTIAL.
8. I didn't even consider doing FSBO, I was scared to advertising my number and letting
strangers in my house, especially since my hubby works weekdays so it's just gonna be me
and the babies. There are a lot of psychos out there. Just look at all those aggressive
tailgaters on 95
9. And lastly, swallow your pride and emotions, even if you want to pound some rude people to a
pulp, like some realtors who are rude and annoying, they are really doing you a service by
showing your listing so smile and say yes, they can show the place in 30 mins despite the fact
that I am currently sitting in a dentist chair in a middle of a ROOT CANAL and I have to call
my mother-in-law to get her and the baby out of the house before the clients came.
10 . And finally, prepare to learn hor to deal with frustrations and the ups and downs of selling
your place. Coz it's and insane ride and it's the only way to save your sanity.

Hope this deal pushes through or else I will be blogging from the psych ward..dunno if they allow blogging???? Give me my valium pls..

Selling in a Buyer's market

We have been debating for years when to put our condo on the market. It seems like a simple decision, get a realtor, decide on the price and wait for the offers. Accept offer and ka-ching money! money! money! But wait, this is 2009, in the midst of the wallstreet and stock meltdown, highest unemployment rates and basically despair over an unstable real estate market. In 2004, usually condos will be on the market for 1-2 days and then it's bindered, never mind that it looks like c**p but since inventory was very low, there's bidding wars left and right. And yes, we decided to put our condo on the market. We just decided that the same way one cannot time the stock market, it's much the same with real estate. There has to be a motivation for the sale whether it's for money for retirement, or selling to relocate or even to downsize. We cannot rely on timing the market like is it the best time to sell or to hold, but rather is it the BEST time for our family to move on..is it in my family's best interest to sell..will the stress and pain of moving and putting our house on sale be beneficial to my family at this time? These are the questions that we pondered and debated for a long time before we came to our decision. We kinda kept postponing selling coz of a lot of reasons, some reasonable and some unessential..like the condo is not yet spiffied up for spring season..then I got pregnant we wanted to wait for the baby to be delivered so I was literally painting the master bedroom when I went into labor and delivered 4 hours after that. Finally we put up the place for sale..it's hard setting a price on a HOME, it's not just a apartment with 4 walls and a roof..but it was our first place, being immigrants in this country, being able to buy your own home is an american dream come true. We poured our love, sweat and hard earned funds into making this strange house into our home. Ripped out carpets smelling of cat and God knows what else. My first child was born and raised here and so did my second baby girl. By now we are sure that we want more for our family, and believe me, no McMansion for us. Just and additional bedroom and a little backyard. I always joke around to my friends that kids need to be let out in the backyard once in a while.

So our home is on the market, we had to "de-personalize" it first. Remove pics of the family, and believe me those HGTV shows doesn't really show the reality of the hardships of selling your house. Realtors calling 30 mins before they show your place..trying to keep it clean and de-cluttered, we cannot cook coz it's gonna smell. I was initially addicted to watching those designer shows but after a few months on the market, it just gets tiring. House selling shows on tv doesn't really convey the emotions the sellers go through. It's an internal emotional war between dread and anticipation, hope and despair, highs and lows. The first few weeks on the market everytime I get a call to see the property, I was so elated, and let me tell you this, I put a lot of effort in cleaning and sprucing up the place. In my mind I am thinking.."Is this it?..are we gonna get an offer?" And I pack up the kids and wait somewhere till the realtor and his clients leave. Most of the time it's inconvenient, like it's my babies naptime, or I just came from my night shift work and instead of sleeping, I would be cleaning coz someone is coming in an hour. I can't count the number of times I have slept in the car in the parking lot while waiting for the people to leave. And each and everytime I wait anxiously if this time I'm gonna get a call that we have an offer. It's been 133 days. And we had several offers, too low to even mention. When I say low, ridiculously, insultingly low that even my realtor was upset. But now, the anticipation is gone, all I can think about is "When is this gonna end?!!!!" I don't mean to whine or rant..but hey this is my blog after all. We finally get an offer that seems reasonable, despite the fact that we dropped our price already, and the offer is less than our listed price. But it's doable, negotiable. And the only thing is to weigh which is more important to us. After this, I think we are gonna take our time before buying a house, if you visit us and the apartment looks a little cluttered, well I did promise myself I am going to let my OC side go on a very long vacation and the rest of me to take a vacation from intensive cleaning. I'm gonna fry and cook all my favorite strong smelling foods..and lastly have more time to blog.

Jon minus Kate divide the 8 +alimony

I am not a fan of this show. Seriously...I am not a fan of anyone who tries to use children for fame or rather infamy and fortune( Octuplet mom) but that's another rant. I did see some sneak peaks and at that time I was happily surprised that this family was working it out. Before it was just, "Oh, they have 8 kids, how cute." But after having my own two kids and my eldest going through the screaming three's phase, (she just graduated from the terrible two's) I cannot wrap my mind around the difficulty and emotional stress having 8 kids almost all at the same age! I am hyperventilating with the thought these little ones screaming all at the same time, crying at the same time, demanding attention ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! When I cannot even begin to cope with a toddler and a newborn. Just thinking of the logistics, the scheduling and the expense, I do not envy the parents. Kate must be a drill sergeant because to make anything happen? it's with the force and power of a general. So it did not come as a surprise that they broke up. Although Kate has been getting the flak for coming across as a "nagging, controlling biatch" I sympathize and emphatize with her. And I cannot help but compare her difficulties with mine. It's hard enough to maintain a romantic and loving husband-wife relationship with 2 small kids..but a small basketball team it's like being on a 24-7 reality show. Oh yeah, I forgot they are on a tv show. All you want to do at the end of the day is play "pass-the-baby" and when the music stops whoever is holding the baby...is keeping her. And at the end of the day you just want to close the door, fall in bed, close the lights and forget the world outside. But of course it does not end there. There is still the night time feedings and the toddler tantrums. I kinda admire Kate for trying to keep it together and if she turns into a ranting psycho..well I can't blame her.

And then here's Jon, on the covers of magazines, tabloids..pictures of him holding hands with a young girl. The articles are full of him spending this, buying that, splurging for a vacation for this homewrecker..and deep inside I feel anger at this. Ummm let me remind you Jon, that you have 8 kids that need money for college? At this point I am happy and grateful, thankful that my family is still a family, we may not have fame or fortune but hopefully just enough to get by.

I see this family's life splattered and smeared all over reality TV and I pity these kids who doesn't even have the luxury of privacy to get through this divorce in private. Their dad's affair flaunted for everyone to discuss and dissect by the watercoolers. And this is the price they pay, too expensive for my taste, I'll pass.

I have been running around like crazy this afternoon..well that seems pretty much a normal afternoon for me. Packing for a 3 day 2 night trip to Niagara Falls,NY. With a 5 month old, it's like I'm packing everything except the kitchen sink, actually if I could squeeze it in..I would have. So I kept going around..and around, trying to trim the stuff to basics since I don't want to be walking into the hotel looking like I'm staying for 6 months instead of just 2 nights!

Things to bring:
Change of clothing for me
Change of clothing for the baby and Kay
Extra change of clothing on top of the change of clothing for the kids
tioletries
laptop and power cord
cellphones and charger
bottle sanitizer
bottle warmer
extra diapers
extra bottles of milk
extra bottles
detergent
sunblock
camera and videocam
food and chichiria for the looong trip
breastpump and paraphernalia
extra wipes

I was able to book a hotel for 2 nights at a great rate through hotwire. I love that website, it's like hotel roulette, you never know what you're gonna get but so far it never failed me. Probably the greatest deal I had was in Woburn,MA for a Radisson Hotel for $40/night, and that was the most comfortable sleep I've had. Also in Washington DC, I was able to book Hyatt hotel for like $90 something. And it's DC :)

Diversity and all that..

At my workplace we usually have discussions about diversity, race and differences in culture, and there is one particular person that I noticed would always contradict or have very strong opinions on other people's culture. Come to think of it, she not only contradicts me on those topics but on everything else. She mentions that she needs to buy a swimsuit I would try to suggest stores like TJ maxx or Kohls and she woulds say "I don't like those stores.", or the topic is ikea and she would butt in and ssay "I don't like Ikea..it's so cheap". It has come to a point that whenever she opens her mouth I tune her out. Come on! not everybody likes to spend or can afford to spend thousands of dollars on a stupid couch or sofa. And besides who cares if your furniture is from Ikea? who cares if you buy clothes at discount stores?!!! who f***ing cares! well , I guess she does. I have reached my limit when she started talking about how bad the Filipinio culture is..that we encourage our kids to become nurses or "force" them to have an education which is "USEFUL". Or when she started ranting about dating and marriage traditions of my Indian friends or my Chinese friends and their "non-healthy" food. I just looked at her and asked her directly does she have any Indian or CHinese friends? I didn't think so, she said she talked to some..and I'm like...so this is a perfect example of talking while being ignorant. And the sad thing was, she thought she was pretty smart and open minded. I kinda pity her, because it kinda reflects how she doesn't really like her own cultural identity. If you ask her where she's from,she would say she's a US citizen. She won't deny where she came from, but all the foul things coming out of her mouth pretty much sums up that she did not have a happy childhood, she was not reared appreciating her OWN culture.
I am Filipino born, my husband..also Filipino, we may have taken the mantle of US citizenship but more for our children than for us. But in our hearts we will always be Filipinos. The US is an immigrant country, it was enriched and prospered on the backs of immigrants. And I think that's what makes this country special. My children will know where their parents came from, will learn the language..will EAT manga and bagoong, dinuguan and karekare. Will learn to play sipa,patintero and agawan base. They will have the Filipino values of respecting and loving their elders, mano po lolo, mano po lola. They will appreciate the fact that we have cars since they will be exposed to riding jeeps and tricycles..and what it feels like without central air with a 102F summer in the Philippine Islands.
Children of immigrants are unique because they are multicultural, I agree that they have to go to school in the US coz on the end they will have to deal with people born, raised and educated here. But I do not believe in turning your back on your own culture coz of being ashamed or whatever reason one drumms up. Instead of being citizens of the US, I want my kids to be citizens of the world. So I say again, so what if you live in a small house with a lot of furniture from Ikea or shop at discount stores, and they speak English-Tagalog with a smattering of Spanish, but they are happy..they say po and opo, go to mass and eat what their parents eat. I see their closeness with their grandparents, and we enjoy our diverse group of friends. And then let me tell you this..I would not exchange this for the world.

A time for one's self..

Everyone is asleep..it's been a hectic day in the household which always been the case since I gave birth 5 months ago. What with trying to schedule around pumping milk and feeling like the proverbial cow, keeping up with a toddler like an energizer rabbit, lack of sleep, working nights and selling a house at the same time..just makes one want to take a hike and jump of a nearby cliff. No reason to complain at all, beautiful healthy children, loving hubby (hmm will blog on that topic another time) and stable job. Especially in this economy. With all this happening sometimes just sitting down and putting thoughts to paper (in this case blogging) is such a release.

So right now..house is quiet except for the taptap on my laptop and I make a list of what I can be thankful for...

I am thankful for..
My hubby for makking breakfast today..never mind that is egg whites and no fat (ugh he is trying to convert me to live healthy).
My daughter going to daycare and telling me in the car.."I'm going to big girl and big boy's school today and I'm not crying..di ba?"
Little 5 month old Micah smiling everytime she sees me approaching..don't know it's really coz she's happy to see mama..or coz she know's it's chow time!
My mother in law (love her) for helping out with the baby..she is carrying her so I can do the chores..
For small things ..like.. CENTRAL AIRCONDITIONING!!! no explanations needed.
Having dental insurance..I would go broke for all the high tech thingys needed for my aging teeth

I could go on and on coz seriously, there's a lot to be thankful for and now I will just relax and listen to everyone's breathing..peace.